Before embarking on the journey to find your spouse, there’re things to keep in mind:


God’s Will


Many singles assume finding your spouse is a project entirely under your control. But that’s false. God has a role in the matter. And you’ve got yours. Make no mistake, interchange these roles and you pursue fantasies.


The Context


There’s no standard approach for all singles in every context. The Bible stands as a general guide. It defines boundaries you shouldn’t cross. Within those limits, you’ve got to trust the Holy Spirit to guide you to your spouse uniquely. No two encounters are exactly the same.


The Dilemma


God prepared a spouse for you. But you’ve got to trust Him to find this person by the Holy Spirit’s help. Looks like two conflicting positions. On the one hand, you’ve got God’s will for you—the person He wants you to marry. ‘‘For without Me you can do nothing’’ (Read John 15:1-8, NKJV). Looks like the Man above dictates everything.


Yet, on the other, you’ve got the task to go out there, interact with potential spouses, make a choice and decide to settle down with someone. ‘‘But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves’’ (James 1:22, NKJV). Aren’t you caught in the middle of a mystery? Yes, you’re!




God is a mystery. His ways are mysterious— His approaches, revelations, and solution patterns. But the Holy Spirit unveils everything in the relationship we build with Him. So God desires we collaborate with Him by faith.


Viewed from this angle, the ‘‘finding your spouse mystery’’ comes to light. If God has a role to play, and you’ve got one too, you must work together. So you pursue God’s will and your desires at the same time. Sounds crazy, right? But no, it’s far from craziness.


Let me tell you what’s crazy. To pursue God’s will and shun your desires—that’s crazy. Yes, you become a religious lunatic, one who believes mana falls from heaven these days. Or go after your desires and forget God’s will—that’s crazy too. You go after vanities and futilities.


Seek Both


Thus the mystery unfolds—God made it such that His will and your desires intersect at some point. How? Well, His will is what you desire—it’s as simple as that. How can you claim to be His child, have the Holy Spirit, and desire something else?


But we know we don’t always desire His will. Sometimes, the devil, world and flesh can influence us. And there’s the problem. Once you know this root-cause to deviation from truth, it’s easy to discover the solution.


The Goal


Have a sincere relationship with God. And the Holy Spirit becomes your everyday companion and Friend who always shows you the Father’s will, ‘‘He will guide you into all truth’’ (Read John 16:13, NKJV). As a child of God, you can’t desire anything other than the Father’s will. So you desire what He desires for you. The Holy Spirit blends your wills.


You’ve got the liberty to exercise your will power to explore the world. But you know you must not use this liberty ‘‘as a cloak for vice, but as bondservants of God’’ (Read 1 Peter 2:16, NKJV). Why? Well, because liberty in the hands of someone who isn’t led by the Holy Spirit can become the right tool for the wrong job.


So What Now?


You want the spouse God prepared for you. But you’ve got to explore the world to find this person. Yes, you device strategies to approach someone you desire, fall in love, contemplate, take risks—but not without fervent prayers and meditating God’s word to ensure the Holy Spirit guides your steps to the right person. This is no boring adventure. Rather, an exciting one, full of mysterious things to discover, and may include some gloomy tunnels to go through.


Prayer For The Journey


Father, I know you prepared someone for me to marry. But I’ve got to find this person out there by faith. I come to you by the help of the Holy Spirit for guidance. As I take steps forward, show me green and red lights. Tell me when to say yes or no. I can’t depend only on my own abilities. And I can’t fold my hands and do nothing. As I play my role, I know You promised to play Yours. Although I have desire, I know I can desire things contrary to Your will. Please, guide my desires to meet Your will for me at the right time and place, in Jesus’ Name. Amen!


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