According to an American national survey, divorce takes place ‘‘every 13 seconds’’ in the United States, resulting in an alarming ‘‘2,419,196 divorces per year’’. About ‘‘2.2 million people got married in the EU-28 in 2015’’, Eurostat says. The same year records almost a million (‘‘946,000’’) divorces. ”Systematic estimates of divorce across 33 countries in sub-Saharan Africa show over 20% of first unions end in divorce within 20 years in over two-thirds of the countries’’ (Shelley Clark & Sarah Brauner-Otto, 2015).
Marriage is a beautiful project. But it can be tricky. How do you approach marriage in your context? I compiled a series of topics to reflect on. Go through the list below and comment on which topics trouble you the most.
God’s will
God wants me to marry a person He guides me to
I can marry any person I want and choose
Faithfulness
I can marry, divorce and remarry as I want
Marriage is a onetime decision, for better and for worse
Time factor
There is a time and season to meet your spouse
I can make things happen on my own
Divine Compatibility
I should marry a believer God prepared and leads me to
I should marry someone from my country, race or church
Preparation
I have savings, a house, a job and other material things
I meditate and live by 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 daily
Assessment
Husband and wife should screen each other regularly
Both should do their part of Godly instructions
Character
I can pressure my spouse and help change his/her dirty habits
I play my role, pray and help when I can. God does the rest
Meeting point
I must meet my spouse in a spirit-filled environment
I can meet my spouse anywhere God wants
Guidance
The Holy Spirit guides me to my spouse
I can follow my intuitions. People can advise me
First step
A man must always make the first step
Whether man or woman, let the Holy Spirit guide to inquire
Approach
Dating is worldly. Men or elders should meet parents
As the Holy Spirit leads in your context
Truth
Reason, get opinions and suggestions from people
Inquire from God by the Holy Spirit’s help
Divorce
I’m allowed to divorce. Moses permitted it. Jesus too
I’m not allowed to divorce. Jesus and the Apostles oppose it
Family
God doesn’t bring two in a union to separate later
If things aren’t working, flee for your life
Humility
Admit you’re wrong, trust God to fix the situation
Don’t get stuck. Divorce and move on. Time is precious
Responsibility
I must accept responsibility for my actions
No, I can blame others for my situation
Remarriage
Only in case of death or when my unbelieving spouse leaves
I can remarry whenever the current marriage isn’t working
Death of spouse
Immediately look for another one. There’re many out there
Analyse your situation. Determine if it’s worth to remarry
Women
They’re very weak. Men can manipulate them as they want
Different from men. Possess powers to lift or bring down a man
Divorced
Reconcile. Don’t seek to remarry
Remarry whoever you want
Immaturity, Inexperience & carelessness
Are enough justification for divorce and remarriage
God requires sincere inquiry from childhood
God’s position
In rejecting divorce, God hates the divorced & punishes them
In refuting divorce, God promotes true faithfulness & love
Already Remarried
Move on with the current one, don’t divorced/remarry again
Divorce again and reconcile with the first, come what may
Share with others in your community
Book Coming Soon ”Before You Marry” explores these topics in depth. The link will be communicated.